Heartbreak is universal and timeless. It happens easily and readily, and it can happen to anyone. It could be because someone left you, another disappointed you, or you didn't get that job you want, or you got rejected from university. The list goes on and it could not be easily prevented. But guess what. It gets better. It always will.
1. It hurts. It literally hurts. Sometimes it feels like your heart and stomach fell to the floor. Sometimes it feels like your heart is being squeezed momentarily, before being let go of. It still hurts. But remember....
2. It is never totally your fault. Sure, you may have had hopes. Sure, you may have imagined things. But there is always a foundation of such hopes. So when your heart is broken, it is not entirely your fault. So dont blame yourself, dont make yourself feel any worse than you already do.
3. Distract yourself from it. Pick up the Quran, read a book, go for a zumba class, make some flower arrangement. Dont think too much about it, and occupy yourself with other things instead of thinking about it 24/7.
4. Go to bed early. Maintain a new sleep schedule where you dont find yourself waking up at 3am wondering what you did wrong. Take wudhu, read surah al mulk, the 3 Quls and ayatul qursi before you sleep so that you can have a dreamless sleep. And if you do wake up at 3am, this is where you can do your tahajjud!
5. Talk to a friend or two about it. Have coffee or tea, lunch or dinner with a trusted friend or two and talk about what went wrong. You may find that it helps to get things off your chest. Avoid rambling though. Just have a small chat about how you feel, and talk things through. You might learn about anything you might have done wrong, and learn to walk yourself through it.
6. Get creative. Most writers and artists produce their best works because of the pain that gave them the drive. So write a poem, draw a cartoon, compose a song or even paint a picture to express your pain and your feelings. Sometimes what you need is a creative outlet.
7. Make lots of dua. Pray for yourself to overcome the pain. Allah does not burden a person more than he can bear. Make doa when in sujud, make dua before you sleep and submit yourself to Him. Have trust in Allah that things will get better. "Surely with difficulty is ease." (Surah Al- Inshirah Ayah 5)
8. Tell yourself you can overcome this. Write a post it note! Use it as your lock screen! If you dont believe in yourself, no one else will. So believe you can do it, and leave the rest to Him.
It will get better. Allah has promised in Surah Ad-Dhuha Ayah 4: "And surely what comes after is better than what has gone before." And as sad or frustrating it may be, as Ovid once said, "someday this pain will be useful to you." Take it as a lesson learned, and how you can better yourself from all the heartbreak. Who knows, one day you might even be grateful for it, right?
So let's make use of these last days of Ramadhan to seek laylatul qadr, to bring ourselves closer to Allah to find peace, calm and ultimately to heal our weak, human hearts.
MARIQA BASIC: THE REVERSIBLE INSTANT SHAWL